A little bit funny...

This evening I attended the comedy club at my university, The C Word Comedy Club. One of the acts read out a couple of haikus and I decided to write a few myself. Sometimes it's just nice to step away from my uni work, blog and do some tongue-in-cheek poetry to cheer yourself up.

For those of you who may not know what a haiku is; here is the Google definition:

haiku (Noun)

1. A Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five.
2. An English imitation of this.

Of course, like any good writer I based my writing on my experiences. So here are my haikus about being a middle-aged housewife trapped in a 21 year old's body -

#1

House, why aren't you clean? / Get clean, you motherfucker, / House is still not clean.

#2

Man, can't you wash up? / Get off of the damn Xbox / Make the bloody bed.

#3

Why am I not thin? / Food, you are too good to me. / Wobble, wobble, wob.

Now, I am eager for some reader participation, so how about you leave me a haiku about yourself? 

Food for Thought

"The gentle art of gastronomy is a friendly one. It hurdles the language barrier, makes friends among civilized people, and warms the heart." - Samuel Chamberlain

Now, I have no idea who Samuel Chamberlain was, but he seems to tell the truth. Cooking and food are big hobbies of mine, for the exact reasons ol' Chamberlain stated.

Yesterday, I dragged my very reluctant boyfriend to Wagamama, Canterbury. We had previously visited the branch in London South Bank but wasn't so impressed. After a lot of convincing, I managed to get him to accompany me to our local restaurant and we both ordered the Yaki Soba.

And it was incredible. The striking colour of the pickled ginger contrasted against the golden noodles. Tasty would be an understatement, a quick splash of soy sauce and chilli oil and it was ready to be eaten. Whilst practicing my chopstick skills and eating such fresh Japanese flavours, I felt immersed in a culture that wasn't my own for half an hour. A small break in a normally  mundane routine just filled me with a joy that I wish I could re-create every day.

After devouring literally the best noodles I have ever tasted, something screamed at me from the pages of the dessert menu. White chocolate cheesecake with a toffee and ginger sauce. Wow.

I could happily say that it was one of the best meals I have eaten in a long, long, time.

After satisfying what normally feels like my insatiable need to eat and make my taste buds tingle, what else is there to in Canterbury other than shop (and soak up the scenery)?

We explored the shops and then sat down for another one of my addictions - coffee. When you're out and about, there's nothing I recommend doing more than stopping in a coffee shop, indulging in something highly caffeinated and reflecting on your day. I felt so content in the company of my boyfriend and after treating myself and him to a great lunch. Get lost in conversation, or people-watch. It doesn't matter, just as long as you can sit back and gather your thoughts - you could take the opportunity to plan events, organise your notes, or write a shopping list. It's even better if you think about everything that you're thankful for, there's no better way to bring the smile back to your face. To top it off, whilst basking in the positivity, leaking through the sound of coffee machines and chatter, one of our favourite songs started to play.

I'm a student, and contrary to popular belief, I'm quite busy - So I attempt to make quick and easy meals and to cook ahead of time at every available opportunity. Of course, food is a fuel. But I believe that food should also be a pleasure, everyone has to eat so why not make it enjoyable?

One of my favourite kitchen gadgets is my slow cooker - and the latest batch of pulled pork I've made is testimony to that. All I did was toss in some pork, with some onions, seasoning and a splat of BBQ sauce and left it all day whilst I did the washing, watched TV and went for a Sunday roast at my boyfriend's mum's house. (Seriously, I wasn't lying when I said I was a busy student, but we all need to slow down the pace sometimes!)

The idea is to slow cook the seasoned meat, and store it in an airtight container for the week. The fruit of our porky labour tonight was what we like to call a 'Pulled Pork Grandé' - a ciabatta roll, grilled with cheese and pulled pork, I opted for a sweet chilli sauce and the fella for BBQ.

Ingredients for the Pulled Pork Grande:
My apologies - I cannot remember for the life of me the exact prices for the recipe. Hopefully I'll remember for next time! (And of course, this is for the whole ingredients, and not per portion, so it should be even cheaper if you can portion well.)

• Ciabatta - 49p 
• Small block of mature cheese (30% less fat) - Around £3 
• Pork shoulder joint - £3.49 
• Chips (for the man!) - 99p 

Total cost: £7.97 - Great price for lots and lots of portions, or for use in other meals too. But tell me, who doesn't love pork and cheese?!

Calories in the Pulled Pork Grande: 

• Ciabatta roll - 320 kcal 
• BBQ Pulled Pork (85 grams) - Approximately 159 kcal (According to MyFitnessPal.com , I'm not so sure, but they're usually pretty accurate.) 
• Lighter mature cheddar (30 grams) - 125 kcal 
• Sweet Chilli dipping sauce - 45 kcal 

Total calories: 649 kcal - Okay, so it's pretty indulgent for the sake of a sandwich, but once you taste it, you won't regret it!